Problems and Drama

I speak my mind a lot, and I always feel the need to stand up for myself.  Especially being a woman in a professional field.  Also being a minority.  Recently I’ve had a couple of asian weddings were certain other white vendors who were working made comments to me that I took to be slightly racist.  One was a DJ who said to me before the wedding, “this wedding is going to be… uhh.. a little different.”  Another one was a man after toasts (which were in a different language) said to me, “well that was painful!”  I don’t appreciate those comments and I don’t think they should be spoken aloud, especially to someone who is working.  I don’t know you. I’m not your friend.  How could you think that it wont offend me? Many white people don’t realize that I am half chinese, and I’ve had people make jokes to me about asians, thinking that I would join in and laugh.  Do white people just go up to other white people they don’t know and make racist jokes all the time? Do then the other white people laugh and join in? How else would they think that it’s something to be shared with me?  Look, I’m getting paid to do a job, and I’m going to do it with out any complaints.  If something is bothering me and I have any control over it, I will seek a way to remedy it.  

I also got in a little spat with someone because I saw something on facebook that I took to be a negative comment about how we work.  I approached the person individually and spoke my thoughts on how negative comments should not be put online on facebook where my client has access to it.  I was met with confusion and defense. Maybe I over-reacted, but in my mind, I was only doing my job, getting it done because the bride had paid me to do so.  If that person had a problem with how I worked, they can tell me in person. 

I don’t understand how people, professionals even, think it’s ok to run their mouth online.  Trust me, I gossip with friends and co-workers constantly, but that’s just it, it’s gossip, and it doesn’t leave the room.  Again, if I’m really bothered by something significant, you’re going to hear about it, because I will tell you myself. 

I recently started thinking, maybe I run my mouth a little too much.  I have lots of opinions and I’m giving them out left and right.  I like to think highly of my work and how I work with clients, when I am belittled or treated in a way that is disrespectful, I get fired up and start talking.  I apologize right now because I know that someday, and maybe someday soon, this will come back to me.  Know that I’m trying to get better at it.  Sometimes I just see red and can’t control it. I absolutely find relief in ranting about something that bothers me to whoever wants to listen.  

I also feel like I’m beginning to be bothered by more stuff easily. Maybe its the culture we are in today? But like I said in the beginning of this post, I expect my peers to be professional when working with a client. What you do on your own time is your own business, but when we’re in front of a client, there is a certain level of decorum that I expect to be held. Social networking and the spread of instagram and twitter has allowed people to be more personal.  I love getting personal with my clients, but there needs to be a line in how far that goes. If I am working a job with another company that is also working, I don’t expect to become friends with them, or even really talk to them if I don’t need to. Why? Because I’m focused on my own work. I’m not getting paid to laugh and joke around with your other vendors, I’m getting paid to do what I do best, take photographs. It’s nice to work alongside with friends even so, but I believe that most of my friends know that I take my job seriously, and I cannot be distracted during a wedding day. We can go out for drinks and talk on our own time. 

I’m sorry, I’ve been frustrated the past few weeks. Like I said, I’m trying to bite my tongue, but gosh, people make it so hard for me sometimes. 


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